I am so excited and scared to death… at the same time. Do you know what I mean? For years I have felt led to pursue a career of speaking and teaching on a regular basis. The truth is I have done a good bit of both – teaching and facilitating Bible studies in the local churches we have served and also speaking for events when invited. But I have never been willing to take the “leap of faith” and make myself and my life stories available to those who are seeking a speaker or teacher.
Now, as only God can do, He has lined things up, convinced me it is His plan, and confirmed in many ways that the season has come for me to get out of my comfortable boat and walk on water! In case you don’t get the analogy, it is time for me to be willing to obey God by taking some risks and perhaps looking foolish!
So… He has lined things up. What do I mean by that? Well, for years I was covered up with family responsibilities. It was fun, but that stage is over now and I have more flexible time in my schedule. I like to stay busy but I am wearing myself out making too many trips to Wal-Mart and organizing my closet over and over. God has convinced me that I now have time for this adventure. While I used to think I needed to find all the answers and get things right myself before I helped someone else, God has shown me that it is in the journey of life – good stuff and tough stuff that we can best help others.
God has also convinced me this is His plan, not mine. I have put this off for so long telling myself it was my idea and probably not a good one. I am a very cautious personality… I mean very cautious… the kind of person who makes the biggest mistakes by sitting still and doing nothing. Remember the parable of the talents in Matthew 25. I hate to admit I always identified with the guy who buried what God had given him. Not good. However, I now recognize that God is the one who has called me to this season and my biggest fear is that I might miss it! A friend gave me The Circle Maker by Mark Batterson last year for my birthday. When I read it I just said “Wow!” God began opening my eyes to some things He wanted me to see. Recently I ordered another book by Batterson entitled In a Pit with a Lion on a Snowy Day, never anticipating that God would speak to me through this book. But He has! I have realized for the first time the potential dangers of my overly cautious tendencies, especially right now regarding this opportunity for service. I do not want to get to the age of 85 and suddenly regret the things I was unwilling to do for God. But one more thing….
God in His graciousness has given me many confirmations along this journey thus far. This is such a gift to a cautious one like me, and I do not take these confirmations for granted. One is a very supportive husband who has encouraged me for years to do this. He is so often right and I am so often slow to realize it. Go figure! Our children are my biggest cheerleaders (and helpers with all things technical!), and I am blessed with a huge group of friends who have been telling for years to get serious about a career in speaking and writing. They have been faithful; I have held back. But, no more! Another confirmation has come through my current involvement in a very large Mom to Mom program at our church. For the past year my most fulfilling, exhilarating moments have come when speaking to our girls. I love the study and preparation time and I also enjoy very much the delivery time and interaction with our audience.
Finally, God has confirmed through his Word and through my devotional time that this is his plan and that he will accomplish his purposes if I will just be willing to be used by Him. To illustrate, I read in My Utmost for His Highest on March 11, “I was not disobedient to the heavenly vision.” Acts 26:19. Oswald Chambers said, “if you allow God to plant you, you will bear much fruit. It is essential that we live and walk in the light of God’s vision for us.” A good word for me. And then I turned to Experiencing God by Henry Blackaby, and read, “Do you sense there may be far more that God wants to do through your life than what you have been experiencing? Ask God to show you what it is. Then be prepared to respond in faith and obedience to what He tells you.” And when I opened Jesus Calling I read, “If you live your life too safely, you will never know the thrill of seeing me work through you.”
Okay, God, I hear you. I am ready.