The Day After Mothers’ Day

Mothers’ Day is very emotional, multiplied by so many perspectives regarding its significance. Yesterday I was reminded of this as I had conversations with numerous people and perused so many posts on Facebook. In church we had a time of prayer focusing on Mothers’ Day.

First we thanked God for mothers and other women who have been mother-figures in our lives. Truth be told, not everyone has or had a great mom. BUT, when we put our minds to it we can discover some good qualities in the woman who brought us into the world. It is important to search (hard, if necessary) to find those good traits and thank God for her. For those with faithful, loving moms, it is not always smooth sailing; that is just the nature of relationships. However it is our choice to focus on all we can be grateful for and celebrate the woman who raised us, taught us, showed up for us, and often just put up with us. Whether you had a super mom or a not so super mom, there are other special women who have met the needs we have for mothering. On Mothers’ Day it is appropriate to thank these women who have been there for us, teaching, encouraging, supporting, and perhaps just listening. Sometimes those women have children of their own, but they make room for us; sometimes they are not officially mothers but they definitely serve in a mother-role to us and that counts! Sometimes it takes practice or intentionality (a word my son loves but I struggle with) to thank God for what you have rather than moan over what you feel like you may have missed or lost.

Grateful Grief or Selfish Grief

Secondly we prayed for those whose mothers have died. I am now in that group; we still love them and miss them. Regardless of their age when they died or our age when they died, most of us will continue to miss them the rest of our lives. But rather than feeling sorry for ourselves over what will be missed in the days ahead, we can remember and be grateful for the good memories we have from when they were with us. So, will our grief be grateful grief or selfish grief? It is our choice. And here are some things we can celebrate: we can be thankful that their influence and character can live on through us; we can talk about them and tell lots of stories so our children will have a sense of knowing who they were; we can live the rest of our lives to make them proud. I’m surprised no-one has marketed a WWMS bracelet – “what would Mama say?” It might be a good idea to consider when we are about to do something foolish or wrong.

“What Would Mama Say?”

JB and I were talking yesterday; his Mother died at 63 when we were 34; my Mama died at 90 when we were 62. Big difference. While we missed having his Mother involved in the lives of our children, she did not have to grow old and deal with all that comes with old age. When Mama died we were grateful for all the years we had with her but she suffered the last few years with the “Big A” as she called it, and that was very hard. So, either way, death is going to come and we should not be totally surprised when it comes to our own family. God only promises forever to those who accept His gift of salvation through the death and resurrection of Jesus. On this earth all of our days are limited; why do some die early and some late? I have no idea but I do know God is faithful to meet our needs and bring comfort and strength when and how we need it.

We also prayed yesterday for mothers who have had to live through the death of a child. Now that is a big one and I know their hearts burn with love and loss on Mothers’ Day. It is not what we would call normal; it just should not happen; but it does. And only God is able to soothe a loss that deep. A dear friend of mine whose son died a few years ago wrote the sweetest post yesterday. In it she wrote,”my son went to the arms of Jesus, and I found amazing grace at the feet of Jesus. Grace wins every time!” What a testimony.

Grace wins every time

A young friend of ours from Kenya has experienced much loss in her life, including her mother and other family members. She serves God and others every day. She posted online, “I am blessed to be a blessing. So much has been given to me, so much is expected from me. Lord I am saying YES, here I am, use me!” Oh, that we all had this attitude.

Finally yesterday we prayed for the many young women who long to be mothers but have not yet had that desired fulfilled. We all know them; they are our friends, our family, our neighbors. Have you ever thought how hard Mothers’ Day is for these women (and their sweet husbands)? We prayed that God would bless them and give them a child – whether by birth or by adoption. God is God; we are not. Though we may not always understand His ways, we can trust Him. I will continue to pray He will bless these women with children to call them “Mom.”

So, there you have it – had you ever thought how many angles there are to Mothers’ Day? Call or text someone special today and express your love and appreciation and prayers.

Claim as your own, “I am blessed to be a blessing. Lord I am saying YES, here I am, use me!”

 

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